Hope Over Expectations

Something got me thinking about expectations and 2025 this morning. The most logical explanation is that it’s December 31, 2025. But I think it has more to do with the events that unfolded throughout this year.  These events naturally come with expectations attached to them.

• Starting a new business.

• The arrival of our first grandbaby.

• Turning 50.

When 2025 began, there was so much hope surrounding how each of these moments would unfold. But as the firstborn daughter that I am, I’ve come to recognize something about myself: each of these hopes quietly carried very specific expectations. I had a picture in my mind of how things should happen. And when those expectations weren’t fulfilled, I found myself disappointed, sad, defeated and frustrated.

Recently, I asked ChatGPT to summarize the connection between hope and expectations, and this is what it shared:

Hope and expectations are closely connected, but they are not the same. Understanding the difference—and the healthy relationship between them—can shape our emotional well-being, our faith, and our resilience.

Expectations are often specific and outcome-focused. They are tied to what we believe should happen, when it should happen, and how it should unfold. Expectations can be conscious or unconscious, and when they go unmet, they often lead to disappointment, frustration, or discouragement.

Hope, on the other hand, is deeper and more flexible. Hope is not rooted in a particular outcome but in trust—trust that something meaningful, redemptive, or good can emerge, even if the path looks different than we imagined. Hope allows space for mystery, growth, and God’s presence in uncertainty.

As I reflected on this, I realized I want more hope and fewer expectations—not just for a new year, but as a way of being. I began to recognize that hope nurtures and sustains the fruit of the Spirit, while expectations often keep me operating in the flesh.

Galatians 5:19–23a in The Message translation captures this internal tension in a way that invites mindfulness in how we walk through our everyday lives:

It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on.

This isn’t the first time I have warned you, you know. If you use your freedom this way, you will not inherit God’s kingdom.

 But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

My hope today is that we would strive less to control outcomes and more to foster the fruit of the Spirit. That we would begin each day by inviting the Holy Spirit to cultivate love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control within us. That we would remember these are not separate, individual fruits to be mastered one at a time, but one unified fruit of the Spirit, growing together as God works in us.

My hope is also that we would acknowledge our humanity—that it is impossible to produce this fruit on our own. Left to ourselves, the process can feel challenging, overwhelming, and even downright impossible. And yet, that is where hope lives: in the truth that we are not meant to operate independently. Instead, we are invited to continually ask for help, to inquire of the Holy Spirit, and to step out of the way, allowing God to reveal the beauty, growth, and transformation that can only come from Him.

Prayer

Holy Spirit, we invite You to lead us. Release us from the weight of expectations we were never meant to carry, and root us deeply in hope that trusts You fully. Cultivate Your fruit within us—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control—knowing we cannot grow these on our own. Help us to surrender control, to ask for Your help daily, and to make room for the good work only You can do. We trust You with the process and the outcome. Amen.